After my first blog post today I had a meltdown.
It seems like I am raising two children on my own, I am working full time, and I am dealing with depression. My partner works evenings so he is gone before my oldest child is home from school and don't return until after midnight.
My youngest is just starting to potty train. Mix that with a child that has aggression issues and a mom that is depressed. Not good. He peed on the floor so many times this evening that I thought I had a puppy. I know that it is wrong to get mad at him....and I didn't. I just lost it emotionally...to myself. For some reason I just couldn't take it tonight.
To be completely honest there are a lot of nights that I feel like I can't take them and that I just want to take off. Pack a bag and go. I know that I won't do that, but it is in my mind.
Being depressed and having children is hard. Really hard. Feeling like you are doing it alone is even harder.
I don't know if it will get better, but I keep telling myself it will. I have to. If I don't...I am not sure what will happen. If this is all my life is...is it really worth it?
I also think like that but in the back of my mind, we are worth it! Are you getting help?
ReplyDeleteI am...sort of...I am on meds and going to the doctor. But, where I live, there is a major lack of help for people with mental illness. I am doing my best and this blog is helping me get me feelings out there. Alot of times things go through my head but I don't act on them. I know that it is just my sickness. I guess I am one of the lucky people who can do that.
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